My Four-Year Plan
As soon as I could hold a pen, I wrote stories. First, I drew them as pictures on the back of paper tray liners at McDonald’s. After I learned to write, I wrote whenever I could on whatever I could. That only stopped when I reached college and realized that the last thing anyone wanted was originality or critical thinking. Professors wanted an easy-to-grade essay that said assigned readings were eye opening and that we were all appropriately floored. After graduation, I felt unprepared for anything practical and underprepared for graduate school because I was raised lower middle class. I didn’t have family members who were PhDs, doctors, or lawyers. I had to crack that code on my own, and still experienced my career as second fiddle to my spouse’s even though he had all of those advantages, but wouldn’t put a game controller down for long enough to do his own applications. Consequently, I sent in the application to a recruiter that landed him his first big job. As far as I know, he still works there.
I understand the bitterness against “the elite” better than most people would think. We want to believe we live in a meritocracy, but that’s not true now. It has never been true. It also means that I do not believe that Trump won re-election because he was the best candidate. We are now on our second female presidential candidate who was better qualified than most men who have run and lost because their plumbing is on the inside because as a country we haven’t evolved past that misogyny. This is an important time for reflection. Yes, right now. Have you called a successful woman bossy? Have you held a female supervisor to an impossible standard you would never think to hold a male colleague to? I don’t need an answer, but we need to think about these things more.
This brings me to my next point: what is my future in counseling. I’ve been thinking about this since I moved to Colorado. As you may know from previous posts, I’ve had multiple unpleasant brushes with our disciplinary board, as many counselors have here. Anyone can submit a free complaint about absolutely anything a therapist does with minimal justification and the board hears it without question. Their decision making process is arbitrary and if they roll the dice and decide that a therapist deserves even a “letter of admonishment,” (a “minor” consequence) it remains on that person’s record FOREVER. It cannot be removed. DORA implemented a working group after years of complaints from clinicians. The group made recommendations to remove those letters from records after a certain period of time, but a bill would need to be passed in the state legislature to make that happen, and we’re a female dominated profession. Therefore, our professional organizations are underfunded and nobody cares enough to champion it for us.
Counseling is hard work. It’s hard on my mind. It’s hard on my body. It’s hard on my soul, and I love the field, but it has become increasingly clear that balancing it with my love of writing indefinitely isn’t sustainable. I also received a huge tax bill at the end of last year. I have no intention of paying any more than I have to in taxes to support the priorities of a second Trump administration. Therefore, beginning in 2025, I am not going to take any new clients. My interns will continue to take clients until they complete their hours for full licensure. I believe that’s another year to year and a half.
During that period, I will wind down my caseload, and shift to a writing and editorial career. I need to do what is true to myself and true to my values. Part of that is refusing to fund a dictatorship.
