More Than a Closet Clean-out
It’s still January, and I’m sure that like me, a lot of people reading this are probably thinking about decluttering. Full disclosure: my closet looks like something out of a horror movie and this is after I donated a bunch of stuff.
Keeping with New Year traditions, I met with a group of girl friends to start a self care bookclub and our first read was The Year of Less by Cait Flanders. One of my friends summed it up elegantly by observing that by the end of the book, Cait Flanders realized that she thought “stuff” was weighing her down, but it was really the emotional junk she was hanging onto that made her miserable. That doesn’t mean that Cait Flanders has decided to let go of her commitments to sobriety, minimalism, or saving as much of her income as possible. Based on her recent posts on Substack, all of those things are still important to her. However, what came out of our discussion was a desire to be more intentional about what we hang onto whether it’s physical objects, or assumptions and rules that we make for ourselves.
Some stuff is just depressing. One friend observed that it was cleansing and liberating getting rid of items she associated with a marriage that recently ended. Another friend mentioned that there’s a lot of stuff in her home that she doesn’t have control of like her husband’s “nice things he could never afford before” and her children’s toys. (No, she’s not a monster. She was talking about toys they no longer play with but have sentimental attachments to.) A few of us enjoy our cooking gadgets and appliances while others are elated by a minimalist kitchen.
One thing we all could agree on is that closets are a problem. Just about everyone has “aspirational” clothing. It’s clothing that we either hope we’ll lose enough weight to fit into again or clothing that is a more fashionable or “responsible” version of ourselves. The problem with keeping these things around is they are visual reminders that maybe we’re too fat or don’t dress in an appropriate way. Realistically, I know my weight right now is what it is, and I wear the same ten items all the time even if I think some people might think I’m a boring slob.
What’s the conclusion of all of this? If you have space, keep what makes you happy, but don’t keep stuff because you think someone would be hurt if you got rid of it or it represents someone you kind of want to be at times, but you know you’re not. Also, whenever possible, really think about it if you consider stowing something in your basement, garage, or attic. Some family heirlooms or photos are worth keeping, and that’s fine, but it’s a slippery slope. You deserve to be happy with your space!
